Build Resourceful Resilience w/ Shenira Billups

Updated: Sep 2, 2021

Nobody asks for their struggles. The world wasn't clamoring for a global pandemic, just like this week's guest was in no way hoping to end up parenting her special needs child alone and balancing that with a busy clinical psychology practice in the midst of said pandemic. But here we are. And Shenira Billups (@mgihllc), Licensed Clinical Psychologist and founder of Mental Growth & Internal Healing LLC (, regards those struggles as teachers, here to help her grow stronger, gain more resilience, and become the spiritual warrior she is always in the process of becoming. What did you learn from Professor 2020? What will you do with that new wisdom, and those new skills and abilities?

Highlight Reel:

1:30 - When resources aren't shared

9:50 - Finding balance and strength

11:00 - Professor 2020: tough but effective

17:50 - Humility and empathy

21:30 - Rock bottom

30:00 - Good grief

Adrienne MacIain 0:03

Hey everyone, welcome to the That's Aloud podcast. I'm your hostess, Dr. Adrienne MacIain. And today we have Shenira Billups. Please introduce yourself.

Shenira Billups 0:13

Hi, I'm very pleased to be on the show. Thank you for having me. My name is Shenira Billups. I'm a national certified counselor and licensed professional counselor here, right in the heart of the city of New Haven. I work in my practice, mental growth and Internal Healing LLC. And I'm also associated with The Essence LLC comprises myself and five other four other colleagues in Hartford, Connecticut, and I am also director of behavioral health services with All Together Healing, Incorporated. So, busy.

Adrienne MacIain 0:48

Yes you are busy, absolutely. So I'm gonna start with my first question. What story is the world not getting?

Shenira Billups 0:58

Well, the biggest one I could think about, and it's been the ongoing story for the last year I feel lack of resources is always going to put everyone in a crunch no matter which way you put it. It doesn't matter where you're at. Eventually, it gets to the top. So the lack of resources and the lack of sharing.

Adrienne MacIain 1:22

Yeah, can you say more about that, because that's such deep topic.

Unknown Speaker 1:26

And I feel this is a deep topic, the biggest challenge that I've found over the 2020 year and even prior, but I feel that this whole, quote, unquote, "COVID crisis," and other things has really put a damper and kind of opened up a can of worms, like a whole, a whole basket of snakes as you, as far as what the lack of resources can really do to a person. I mean, people that you think that are pretty well off, you're finding that are in tremendous crunch, because of their not being enough attention being paid to across the spectrum, no matter what walk of life, people are coming from. The gap between rich and poor, has, it might have been acceptable for a minute, because as soon as you see people being okay, it's like, alright, well, things will be alright. But then the rubber really meets the road, when you see that things are really getting ignored, and people are withholding. And then what happens is stuff needs to be dispersed and missing that resources need to be shared. So I feel that also impacts my line of work. Because these resources or lack thereof are also linked with different behavioral health diagnoses that others present with, if they can't get it addressed in the right way, whether or not it's through dealing with psychotherapy or medication management, then we don't have enough time, energy, knowledge, because you're restricted to certain areas. And that just leaves them in a rut.

Adrienne MacIain 3:11

Yeah. I'm sure you can't give, you know, specific names, but if you could give us an example, to help us understand what your clients are going through, that would be great.

Shenira Billups 3:22

Well, I have a number of clients, some of which are also dealing with post-incarceration. And I have a few families where they're single moms, and they are dealing with having had a record, but they have far long been out of that situation. They're trying to obtain a better education, but also trying to deal with child care, they're single parents, the partner is not being responsible. And maybe in some cases, they've tried to accept a partner back for the sake of helping out the family, but the partner just responds in a more abusive or condescending way, and they get in this constant grip of, okay, since this is happening, and I care for my family so much, I need to put my family first. But that would mean delaying these other things that would actually help my family go forward. And then you have outsiders looking in and just supposing, oh, they're just part of the status quo. They're just another one of those. Now, they are actually busting their butts, but because of the red tape that's been placed over them, because of the history, it's like not having records expunged, looking at situations closer, or when they go in they're trying to gain resources from places, how they are limited because of their current situation or where they're coming from as far as socio economic status, in terms of background, and perhaps history. So these lack of reasons versus the multiply these kinds of families times 10, 20. This is not uncommon. It happens. And it's like, they cry aloud and cry even louder. And keep in mind, these families, they have children, these children are seeing these periods that your parents are going through, trying to make ends meet. And they go through this trauma themselves, and just ends up adding hurt upon her upon hurt, this lack of resources increases, expands the gap expeands the gap, but understand these children who are offspring, they're not going to close it up. They're going to open up their mouths, but you're you would hope that they advocate in the right way. But sometimes it doesn't always happen that way. Because they've been given the back end of things. They retaliate, and it becomes a behavioral issue. And then it gives the world more reason to point fingers and say, see, that's what we mean. But it's of their own doing, because they were limited in the first place when the family was trying. So that constant circle in terms of lack of resources and the lack of sharing up. And it's not to say the resources aren't present. No, I didn't say that. But the lack of the resources mean that the families aren't able to obtain them.

Adrienne MacIain 6:07

Yeah. How has that played out in your personal experience?

Unknown Speaker 6:13

I, me being a single mother, I would say that I've been blessed to be able to have an education background in working with these families myself, even prior to being a single mother, but also understanding like, it's, it is challenging, if I didn't have the background I did if I wasn't aware of things as far as my surroundings, and even with my family, like they, they do everything they can to be as supportive as they can. But people have limitations. So they serve much as an emotional support. But even that serves as such a blessing for me. But then when I look at what I'm doing with as far as the communities that I manage, and seeing the struggle of people who are really trying, but they just don't have, it's heartbreaking. It truly is heartbreaking. And you do as an even as a behavioral health professional, do your best not to take these things home with you. And, and just trying to separate home from professional life. Sometimes it is a challenge, it's something that, us professionals deal with every time, I've in this field for over 10 years, and nothing ever gets easier. I even have, I have a child with special needs. And that even has been an experience for me, in my personal life, in terms of understanding and knowing how he learns, and understanding him as an individual and not just another number, really understanding him and not labeling him, but understanding his diagnosis as being a piece of what he is or who he is, but not letting it define who can be. So is this plenty that comes in intertwined in my personal life in terms of understand the lack of resources and what can happen.

Adrienne MacIain 8:12

Absolutely. So tell us a little bit about your experience in the year 2020.

Unknown Speaker 8:18

Ooh, child. Talk about experience, lord have mercy. Oh my gosh, I'm, I'm going to try to summon up and that I went through a number of changes, personally, professionally, and having to learn how to get through the hoops of life as far as in terms of relationships, and even with the social distancing going on reframing that even for myself, and also dealing with a number of clientele, who were trying to understand that, and even with those who were making breakthroughs, as far as dealing with social, social communication, and challenges with it, now 2020 steps in, and all bets are off after March. And even with the children, that had been a true challenge as well, where you have the kiddos and they're in school and they're trying to manage their anxiety with things now it might have been okay for them like you know, okay, I don't have to deal with that trigger anymore, but it's like what about the growth and helping them to develop and understand to peer relationships and knowing their world, so that becomes a challenge, too, so knowing that had been challenging also again, having my own family to deal with it's like okay, finding the balance. finding the balance has been the biggest thing and being a sole like business owner and pushing it out. Just having a mind keeping strong, yeah, mentally strong, that had been the key factor for anything and everything, keeping mentally strong. And knowing what it means to be okay with something being put down, if you can do it that way. I've learned a lot about business relationships. And not every lesson was the greatest, but it was necessary. I'm gonna leave it at that, because I like to be respectful of people's spaces. However, I will say that has taught me a lot about what business means also behind the scenes, because not everyone is for you. But what you can be reassured is that there's a lesson to be learned in every connection that you make. But it's up to that individual to actually be open to that. As a professor--I also teach at Southern Connecticut State University as adjunct professor in psychology department--as a professor, I've learned that we learn by way of our experiences, doesn't say it's always positive. But you can certainly take something from it. And I have to say that 2020 was definitely a teacher. Yes, there's like one of them professors that say that, you know, you're gonna fail class if you don't do your work, but I'm gonna cut you some slack, though, and I'm gonna help you out if you just, you know, hang with me for a while. I'm not gonna say it's easy. But I'll be I'll be upfront with you. That's the that's the kind of teacher 2020 has been. I didn't like it much, but you know what, I passed the class.

Adrienne MacIain 11:34

Exactly. Absolutely. I had a professor in graduate school, who made me cry at my Masters defense. But you know what? She was right. She was 100%, right about everything she said, and she made my research better, and she made my work stronger.

Unknown Speaker 11:57

And that's the type of Professor you want. That's the type of Professor that you can have, as long as we give them the opportunity. See, not feel that even with that realization that you have in terms of that Professor, it couldn't have been easy that you that professor told you stuff that if you chose not to take that experience, and actually apply it the way maybe it was intended, who knows, maybe she intended to make your life, you know, a living hell, but you was like, I'm not going to do that. I'm actually gonna see this in a positive light. But whatever the case was, your experience, you show somebody that experience something worthwhile, and got a lot out of that I think that you actually made it better.

Adrienne MacIain 12:33

Yeah, so she, what actually happened was, she said to me after that, you know, after she saw me crying, you need to take my writing seminar next quarter. And you know, this was a big blow to my ego, because I was the writer. Writing was my thing. And it was embarrassing to think that I needed to take a writing class. But what it was, it was a research writing class. And academic writing is different. It's different than the other writing that I had done. And so taking her class made me realize that, and by the end, I wrote an essay that she had me read in front of the whole class, and then stood up and said, "Now THAT is academic writing." So the story had a happy end.

Unknown Speaker 13:23

Okay. I like that. That's awesome. Almost like what they say about a bad breakup, a bad breakup, sometimes exactly will make you feel or understand what a good relationship is, when it comes along. Recognize all the signs, you see it gonna happen. Yeah.

Adrienne MacIain 13:45

Yeah, THAT. Absolutely. So you know, longtime listeners know that I was in an abusive marriage. I survived that I've written books about it. But absolutely, I think that, you know, it's not that these people give you superpowers, right? You already had those superpowers. You just didn't know you needed them until you got that push.

Unknown Speaker 14:10

Oh, yeah. You in all the sudden had that chemical blowout, and boom, it ignited all that super power that was already in you. It's a chemical effect. That's all you needed.

Adrienne MacIain 14:21

Absolutely. So I'm definitely hearing the challenges from 2020 hearing a lot about resilience being that kind of gift that that 2020 gave you. Were there other lessons or other gifts that 2020 ended up giving you when you passed that difficult class?

Shenira Billups 14:42

Oh, goodness, creativity, understanding that old phrase, there's more than one way to skin a cat. You learn resilience, you learn survival, and not only survival but actually thriving. And that's what we want to be in life, right? We don't want to just live by the skin of our teeth. I mean, granted, mind you, at times that might happen and necessary to happen, maybe just a short while, just so that you can go ahead and make it over the hump of something. But from there, that's when you go full speed ahead and you're like, Listen, no, I gotta do this thing. That creativity also adds a level of boldness, I would say, because when you try something new, and you get all these ideals and faith and decide, you know what I'm gonna push out, I'm gonna decide to burst forth, it's like a now or never kind of situation because like, why not? Why haven't I ever realized that before? And sometimes spending all that time in seclusion will help to ignite ideas. You can choose to waste your time, and you're like, oh, man, all the stores are closed, and I can't go nowhere. Or you can be like, you know, what, I'm gonna take this time to kind of expand my learning or find these other ways of communication, or how can I better my business through different ways? Or what can I actually learn about myself? What have I not actually addressed in my own life by trying to be alive? But in any case, so yeah, it just expands your creativity, and just helps you out with understanding a different part of you. That's what 2020 did for me. I think that even with my profession, you talk to clients so much right about insights, about mindfulness, about being open, and being able to sit with silence, and all these other great things, that's a whole nother playing field, and you kind of put in the same position. And I find it like, it's so funny, because it's like, wow, you know, when I go and talk to clients about things that I get this often, when myself when I'm about to encounter something that might be an intense type of session, or a situation with one of my clients, I find that, it's so weird, I'm like, man, I just went through something similar myself, not too long ago, like this is a funny trick, I don't like God, you playing me? Or are you trying to help me out? But I find those two that. And that's another thing 2020 has definitely done for me, increasing my level of empathy, understanding what it means to empathize with one with an individual or person. Because when you're brought through situations, it has a way of humbling you, it really does. And even when an individual might come across something that's so challenging as far as another person who might deal with stuff, it's like, looking at it from I've been through that before. And you know what, I understand. To a degree, I can't understand you fully, but I can understand to a degree, what you might be going through, and I hear you and that's what people want to feel like, right? They want to feel heard. So between all this creativity, and just learning how to adjust thereof, and being much more empathic with other people, it's just, it's been an amazing experience. Not easy, but definitely worth that.

Adrienne MacIain 18:34

Shenira, it's so funny that you said that, because I was just thinking about that earlier this morning, that phenomenon that happens as a coach, that things that you were just thinking about or just dealing with, come up with clients, and it's like, I have a perfect story for you. I really do think that that is you know, universe, God, whatever you want to call that, that energy, like letting you know, like, yeah, I'm trying to help you here, I'm trying to send you lessons that are going to be useful to you.

Shenira Billups 19:05

I'm so sorry. I have my wonderful son here.

Adrienne MacIain 19:08

That's wonderful. Hello!

Shenira Billups 19:15

The realities of a mom.

Adrienne MacIain 19:17

Being a mom, you don't get a day off. You don't you don't get a break. There are no breaks

Shenira Billups 19:22

It's every day. It's every day. So yes, I definitely, it's a definite phenomena. But I think that's also a part of the shared human experience. Hold on, I'll be right with you. Go back to your room. I love that boy to pieces. 7 going on 70. But, um, I feel strongly that we have our shared experiences as human beings. It's amazing how the connection that we get is so intrinsic like it's not looked for, it's not always experienced, but we are social creatures by nature, we thrive on how we connect in terms of society, even for those who consider themselves to be hermits, or, you know, just withdrawn. Being deep level introverts, even introverts need some kind of connection, like, everyone needs some level of connection, even if it's the most minute, but we have these shared experiences, which are just, it's just amazing how you can access at the very moment that we're talking about as someone who's going through the same thing and having that kind of emotional impact is just, it's, it's crazy. And it's wonderful.

Adrienne MacIain 20:41

So as a single mom, can you take us into like a rock bottom moment? Like: I don't know if I can do this.

Unknown Speaker 20:51

I'm sorry, I just saw my baby do something crazy.

Adrienne MacIain 20:56

Speaking of which!

Shenira Billups 21:04

All right. So, rock bottom when I was going through my divorce. That was something that was... [laughter] and that's what made me feel like I could actually do it when I had moments like that.

Adrienne MacIain 21:19

We're showing, not telling.

Unknown Speaker 21:24

Exactly. But um, so even when I was going through, I was going through my divorce, and I was doing my best to go through it. Now. It's funny, because I'm, I'm a therapist, but I'm going through all this and I handle, I do couples counseling and all that and it's like, I have a divorce going on that I didn't even ask for, and there's a lot that went on that it was just for me, it was like really weird, but my rock bottom moment had to be the day that it actually was finalized. And that was a lot for me, because I mean, just, you know, disclosure: I had a serious panic attack that day. The whole time, through the proceedings, dealing with the separation, everything, everything was formalized. I kept the business, you know, this is what we want to do, there was no arguments, there was no negative emotions. I even made it clear: Hey, listen, if you want to reverse everything you can at this point, but if not, I respect your decision. It's okay. And I held it like, you know, people didn't even know that I was actually dealing with relationships, even with our close college friends, they didn't even know that I was dealing with relationship issues. Now, it's really challenging right when you have it where those who don't know, are also close friends of the both of you. So with their not knowing it's like, when do we talk about it? We even talked about that formally. But the day that it happened, it was, um, you know, he, we both signed papers, we even sat with each other in the court, and people found it strange, including the judge, like, wow, you guys sitting with each other? Yeah. Like, it's a nother meeting. But it was, it was my kind of realization of just how human I am. When those papers were signed, and then he left the courtroom. And I was I was behind I was actually alone. And for me, that hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean, it felt like the wind was knocked out of me all the emotions, I did not allow myself to feel and that's why I encourage my clients to do all the time, right? And encourage them to feel allow yourself to feel I just realized at that moment, I let myself be numb to those emotions that probably were key for me to actually deal with. And I wasn't dealing. I was holding on simply to the mere fact that I had a piece of paper still binding me to this other individual who we had a shared experience with to develop this child that we brought into the world. So I was willfully holding on to that and trying to maintain or keep my level of composure. Honorable, however, how smart was that? I dealt with it though that day. Those couple of minutes where he left in it just like literally I was having a hard time breathing. I started hyperventilating and I was really trying to control my breathing. I couldn't figure out what was going on. The room started getting--I started getting dizzy, the room started spinning a little bit and and getting a little dark and I was just holding on to whatever I could, and the bailiff asked me if I was okay, I was like, yeah just give me a minute, I can't breathe. So and then all of a sudden, like, involuntarily, the tears started falling. I didn't even it wasn't even a loud cry, but it was just a somber cry from the depths of me, and just for those few minutes that felt like an eternity, I felt it was just in general, it was everything, and I questioned myself. But then I had to quickly pull myself up and tell myself, this is just the first day, give yourself time, these things are gonna take time. And this does not define who you are. I had to be my own encouragement, my own support. Yes, I had other people tell me whatever. But we all know that there's nothing like when you're able to actually be convinced yourself, you can draw a horse to the water, but you can't make it drink. And that day, I was a grand stallion. And I was like, I have to take this, I have to do it, and put on my big girl panties and handle my business. I have to do it. And make sure that afterwards, I'll just continue on. I still remember that there was a few days before Christmas. And I was really fighting the thought of ah Merry Christmas to me, you left me the president of separation. I had every reason to be bitter. And it took me a little while to get over that feeling of being bitter, being emotional and all that. And I'm in it, even now. Dealing with forgiveness is one thing that I'm also still managing and I feel that's for any relationship when it ends so sour and unexpected and you just have to screen again. But yes, that was definitely a moment where I had to realize that even though I felt that terrible feeling of just emptiness and I, I felt kind of drained, I had to hurry and pick myself up because I recognize that, I have to say mindfulness is so key. So if you're going to manage in, it's important to maintain a level of mindfulness that will be saving grace will save you about every time. Because when those things come in, that sneak up on you whether or not emotionally or environmentally whatever, if you know yourself and understand what's around you, you can hold that as being your lifesaver, and just come to grips with things and be a little bit more grounded. Concrete. It's super helpful with that. So but that was definitely have to be my moment of, as a single mom, understanding how single I was. That was, that was a lot.

Adrienne MacIain 28:10

So there's two things that that I want to respond to in there first, I completely agree. I think feeling is healing and it you know, feelings that get pushed down there like this little kid, like Malokai, who keeps coming back like mom, mom! Louder and louder every time until you finally are like what?

Shenira Billups 28:29

Exactly, exactly.

Adrienne MacIain 28:32

And you will you'll have that moment where you're like, what, what is it? You know, and the feelings will flood in. And so like, as soon as that feeling comes up, just take a moment to acknowledge it. Like I know. Yes, grief, I see you there. I know, I know you have love and you have nowhere to put it. I know. I know. I know. And just taking that moment will help you through. The other thing: people always talk about, you know, oh, I don't know how she does it. Like she's so brave and so amazing. It's like, well, she didn't really have a choice, like life just gives you this challenge, right? Like, it's not like you signed up like you know what I'd really like to do, I would like to be a single mom of a special needs child. That sounds great. Sign me up for that.

Shenira Billups 29:19

Yep. Let me have all the responsibility of everything. Let me go and do that.

Adrienne MacIain 29:24

Nobody does that. Nobody does that. But the thing is, when this stuff comes, which, you know, life happens, right? When this stuff comes, it's how you handle it that really matters. And it sounds like you are really taking your time with this and giving yourself a chance to grieve and heal from it. And that is so important.

Unknown Speaker 29:46

And I think also what's important is understanding like the grieving process whether or not you're dealing with a broken relationship, a person passing away the ending of a profession. Any kind of sense of loss can be associated with grief and grief is a process that can be ongoing. But it doesn't have to be destitute, it doesn't have to be something that is the end all. But you can grow from it and understand more of yourself. When you provide that level of acknowledgement. I feel that people, especially in America, Oh, my gosh, we have this whole thing, get over it kind of syndrome. And it does nothing. Well, I mean, I tell people don't get over it get through an exercise of what is it that I need? Who do I need to get through, I was talking to another client of mine and I actually, and discussing with her family system, and how she's been able to get it where her like, she's able to get both of her kids out the house, he's the single mom get both the kids out the house, with the godparents, willing to take them for a whole weekend. Like, amazing. So I'm like, what's your village look like? I just want to know, and she told me the whole history of everything. This woman has a phenomenal story. And is the key to it was it wasn't that like, you know, her. Like she had awesome, all-knowing powers or whatever. But we talked a lot about her intuition. She calls it her reading. And it's like, yeah, that that intuition that you have when you're mindful, and you choose to listen to that inner part, and not just try to silence it, but really look at it. And you don't always have to feed into it depending upon where it's coming from. But just understanding it, that can land you in a better position than what you may have been where if you were to just completely ignore it, or just put it on the back burner or something. So it's super important just to have that mindfulness of hearts, like where you stand with stuff, and you can really build that stamina to push for another day.

Adrienne MacIain 32:03

Yeah, so I'm hearing so many wonderful tools that people can use to get through these difficult times, even when we do lack resources. And we do lack a village and all the things that that we need. So what I've heard is resilience. I've heard mindfulness, and I've heard feeling is healing...

Unknown Speaker 32:24

Oh, a good colleague of mine, said this, it's phenomenal to me: you can't heal what you can't feel. Or you can't heal what you don't reveal. That's what she said. It has to come to the surface. It has to.

Adrienne MacIain 32:38

Yeah, you've got to share your story. You have to share your story. Shame loves the dark. It thrives in there, but as soon as you expose it to sunlight, then it's like oh, I don't like it here.

Unknown Speaker 32:58

Exactly. Exactly. It's bringing a thing from from trauma to triumph. That's where you want to be.

Adrienne MacIain 33:08

Beautiful. How else has this changed you, this experience?

Shenira Billups 33:16

I feel that it's helped me to grow into another phase of my life where knowing in a different sense, probably sounds so corny, but I don't care. But it really needs to be hashtag adulting. That has been my thing: #adulting. I mean, I'm not sure how many out there are familiar with Erik Erikson stages of development, but I'm like man! I chaw on that. And it's like, wow, I mean you just look at it and you're just realizing so many things when situation. It's like you can read about things. But you don't truly start to understand the implications thereof until you're put in the hot seat of having to apply it. And you just gotta breathe. #adulting

Adrienne MacIain 34:15

I loved what you said earlier about you know, put on your big girl panties. I used to be like, do I have those like where do I buy those? Because I'm not sure anyone gave me

Shenira Billups 34:31

Go shopping for 'em, look for 'em in your size, order offline, but get the big girl panties on.

Adrienne MacIain 34:36

Sit down and sew 'em. Absolutely. We're about to transition into this little exercise that I love to do with my guests. But first I want to give you a chance to give the audience what you think is the biggest takeaway from this experience for them.

Unknown Speaker 35:01

So, the biggest takeaway: don't be afraid to be who you are. Who you might feel you are in the moment can be someone that you want to continue to be, or it may be someone that you desire to change. Or it may be someone that you desire just to add on to. Understand that life is a fluid concept. It just doesn't stop at one point. But it's important to be open for learning at any point. You never know what you can encounter. But understand when you do come across situations, that you are definitely stronger than what you may give yourself credit for. And never be afraid to ask for help.

Adrienne MacIain 35:55

Beautiful. Okay, so, I'm gonna have you close your eyes. get nice and comfy. Here we go. Nice deep breath. And as you breathe in this next time, I want you to see colored light, filling your body and just tell me what color that light was.

Shenira Billups 36:15

Like a light blue.

Adrienne MacIain 36:16

Okay, just breathe in again and see if it's the same or different.

Shenira Billups 36:23

It's kind of weird, I get this yellow-orange.

Adrienne MacIain 36:25

Mmm. Nice. All right, so I'm gonna wave a magic wand over here. And when I do that, everything that you deeply desire will have come to pass here in this moment. And I want you to visualize what that ideal world looks like. And just tell me the first thing you see. So now I'm gonna wave my magic wand. So what's the first thing you see?

Unknown Speaker 36:58

I'm sitting in an office, and the surroundings, it's just very wide, and daylight, it looks like it might be early afternoon. I might be dressed in a suit, whatever the case may be, I'm well-dressed but more so my view is me looking outside of my... outside of myself, and the windows are high up in all open skyline. So it seems that I might be above a city, maybe on the top floor.

Adrienne MacIain 37:29

What can you smell?

Shenira Billups 37:32

Fresh coffee. French vanilla.

Adrienne MacIain 37:39

What can you hear?

Unknown Speaker 37:42

The soft, faint sounds of people whispering outside of my office. Just work. A lot of busy work, moreso machines, even.

Adrienne MacIain 37:52

What feeling do you get from this space?


Fantastic. So you're doing this incredibly meaningful, satisfying work here, it sounds like.

Unknown Speaker 38:06

I have my wedding ring on. I'm just sitting, doing things. I have a family picture. I'm just waiting for the time to blow away, but while I'm in the process I'm just managing work.

Adrienne MacIain 38:25

So someone comes in who just wants to thank you for some help that you gave them recently. Maybe it was something that you said that was a major insight for them, or something that you did but you can just see on their face they are so grateful for your help. And I just want you to revel in that for a moment. And then I want you to go someplace else. And this is kind of your secret happy place that maybe nobody else even knows about. And what does that look like?

Unknown Speaker 39:13

I don't know what room this is but it seems to be another one with tall open windows. Glass windows and again, the sky is the viewable piece, it's all blue and light outside. I'm in a terry cloth robe and slippers and everything, my hair is up and all the furniture is white including the bed nice soft and plush with a red outline, and there's a bowl of grapes that's next to my bed and I'm just laughing.

Adrienne MacIain 39:50

I want you to smell that there's this wonderful cooking smell going on somewhere nearby. And you just know that that food is being prepared for you by someone who loves you very much. And just feel that, what it feels like to be taken care of, for a moment. And now something unexpectedly wonderful happens. What is it?

Shenira Billups 40:28

My husband comes through the door.

Adrienne MacIain 40:37

Take that moment and just really drink that in, that look on his face of just he's so happy to see you. He's been waiting for this all day. You're his world and you can just see that in his eyes. Beautiful. And now he gives you some really good news. And you decide you're going to celebrate what are you going to do to celebrate?

Unknown Speaker 41:21

Go out. Nice, most wonderful dining restaurant ever. I'm not gonna eat a bunch of stuff, I just want to have a nice glass of wine. Maybe try some of his dinner and have my own dessert.

Adrienne MacIain 41:39

Yeah, so I want you to just taste that wine for a moment. That dessert. Just that feeling of delight, and joy. Beautiful. You can open your eyes. You're so good at this, I love it!

Shenira Billups 42:11

I'm a very visual person.

Adrienne MacIain 42:14

I can always tell like some people just like, *whoosh* I'm there. And some people are like, what are we doing? I don't understand. That's awesome. So I just want you to know that that is yours. You can go to that space, any time. And one thing that I love to do I make little slideshows with my visions. And like on my computer, I just make a little slideshow and put some music behind it. And I play that every morning just to get myself in like the right. The right headspace.

Unknown Speaker 42:51

I love it. I love it. I love that guided imagery. That's something that we're using in counseling psychology. Guided imagery is a beautiful thing and is really helpful in terms of easing anxiety, decreasing depression, helping the forward thinking, the flowing organization of thoughts, grounding exercises, all of that guided imagery is amazing.

Adrienne MacIain 43:19

Well, thank you so much for joining me today. So how can people find you if they wanted to get in touch or find out more about what you do?

Unknown Speaker 43:26

Definitely. So I do have I do have an Instagram, which is @mgihllc. And there's also my other Instagram at clinical_lynn. I do have the Facebook professional Facebook, which is under MGIH or Mental Growth, Internal Healing. And I also have a website, You can reach me by email if you want info, And I also have my business number, 203-873-1262, if you're looking for in type of services, we do telehealth as well. So I do have clients that are in the New York area, my lights are cutting off all the time thanks to the New York area and all over. So what's important is just to get started, get started today. There are other websites too I have as far as I'm dealing with, again it's The Essence Behavioral Health LLC, and All Together Healing, and I'll be sharing these more so on my social media, for those who are in the New Haven, Hamden area or beyond the like traveling there is a small business vendors event going on tomorrow being hosted by Mental Growth Internal Healing, LLC, on investments LLC and a break from like, LLC or comments together. We do this annually and we just help out small businesses in the area, just get together help to sell and showcase some of their products, and just encourage the economic factors of our communities and bring people together. So please come out and I'll be on my social media as well.

Adrienne MacIain 45:16

Awesome. Thank you so much. This has been wonderful.

Shenira Billups 45:19

Yes, yes. I appreciate the opportunity.

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