Dear Person-Who-is-No-Longer-in-My-Life,


It’s been a long time, I know.

A lot has changed since last we spoke, so I won’t presume to know anything about you beyond that you were once extremely important to me.

Honestly, I hope you’re not reading this. Because if you are, that means you’re still keeping tabs on me and reading my public posts, and I know from personal experience how crazy-making a pursuit that can be. I quit checking yours quite a while ago, and my life is much better for that.

Sorry-not-sorry about all the clever references and embedded secret messages I must surely have missed. I’m sure you put a lot of thought and care into those, as you do into everything you undertake, and I can assure you they would have been very effective, had I allowed myself to hook back into that kind of drama. Which is exactly why I didn’t.

I’m not here looking for closure. Mistakes were made. We both got hurt. We don’t owe each other anything. Not thanks, not an apology, not forgiveness, not even an explanation. We got what we got, we gave what we gave, and we learned what we learned. The end.

In fact, I’m not here looking for anything. I’m delighted with the life I’ve created for myself, a life that I know would not have been possible without your participation.

No, what I’m here to do is to let you know that, even though you’re not in my life anymore and likely never will be, I still love and care about you very much.

I won’t say I think of you often because honestly, I think of you less and less as the years go by, and that is for the best.

But every time I do, I take a moment to send you love, light, freedom, and release. So I thought I’d take a moment to do that here, in this public forum, in hopes that it may inspire others to find their own path to healing.

And so, dear being I once loved so fiercely and who was so difficult to let go of, may this blessing find you, wherever you are:

  • I wish you alignment with your deepest purpose.

  • I wish you all the resources you require to fulfill it.

  • I wish you an overflowing abundance of your core desired feelings.

  • If you have transformed a limiting mindset into an empowering one, I congratulate you.

  • If you have created a healthy new habit in place of self-sabotage, I honor that effort.

  • If you have come clean with yourself and others, and accepted the consequences of your own actions, I salute you.

  • Your perspective is valid.

  • Your boundaries are sacred.

  • Your gifts are valuable.

  • YOU are worthy. Just as you are. Please don’t let anyone tell you different. Not even yourself. And certainly not a previous version of me. She was so wrapped up in her desperate need for validation she couldn’t even see you as you were.

  • I return to you anything that was not mine to take, including but not limited to: your autonomy, dignity, self-respect, dreams, goals, judgments, feelings, and opinions. Even about this open letter. Those are all yours to keep.

  • I release you of any perceived obligation toward me, good or ill.

  • I hold you in the light, and surround you with healing energy.

  • I now pronounce you: free

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