Feel to Heal

Updated: Feb 3, 2021

Hi friends. It's been a wild ride, and I know a lot of us are still reeling from the events of yesterday, January 6, 2021. So I wanted to take a moment to do an emotional check-in with you, and help you process some of that feeling-soup you're likely slopping around in right now.

How are you feeling?

What are you feeling?

Where in your body do you feel it?

Are you fighting that feeling, or embracing it?

What gift is that feeling here to offer you?

I'd like to help you process your feelings, if I may.

See, yesterday morning I was working on a presentation for WAAP (the Western Association of Administrative Professionals) on emotional hygiene, which goes live January 21st at 11 AM PST. And folks, I was IN FLOW on this thing.

You know the feeling. It's flowing through you like you're just channeling it, fully written, from somewhere deep inside, or even somewhere far beyond yourself. You don't notice time passing. Distractions don't stand a chance. You are ALL IN on this creation.

But then, my mother came into my office, looking distraught.

"Armed protestors have breached the capitol building," she said in a tremulous voice, "it's in lockdown."

I could barely process her words, but her emotions hit me full force:

fear, anger, righteous indignation...

I took a deep breath. Whatever was going on in Washington D.C., there was nothing I could do about it in that moment, and I knew that getting sucked into her agitation was not going to help anyone or anything, whereas this presentation (which was turning out to be more like a full-length workshop-in-progress) was going to bring real value to the world.

"Thank you for letting me know," I told her, "I'm going to finish what I'm doing here, and I'll be upstairs in a bit."

A few minutes later, though, she was back again.

"A woman's been shot," Mom announced, adding panic to the mix.

"I understand," I told her, a little less patiently, "But right now I need to stay focused on what I'm doing here. I will come upstairs when I'm done."

A few cleansing breaths later, I was back to feeling grounded, and managed to finish my presentation by noon. Then I headed upstairs to help Mom process the insanity unfolding in D.C.

Now, don't get me wrong: I often fail spectacularly at setting emotional boundaries. But in this instance, I was able to protect myself and my creative space from emotional insurrection, and I want to make sure all of you are well equipped to do the same, should the need arise.

That's why I'm here offering y'all a sneak preview of my January 21st talk from the section on processing emotional energies.

How to quickly process and let go of disruptive emotional energy

Step One: As soon as you become aware of the emotion, ask yourself, "Is it mine?"

As humans, we often pick up on emotional energy that isn't ours, and then waste a lot of time wondering why we feel that way and what should be done about it.

If you aren't sure whether or not a given emotion is yours, try simply letting it pass through you or returning it to sender. If you can do that easily, wonderful. Problem solved.

If you aren't able to let it go quickly and move on, then this emotion is resonating with you for a reason.

In other words, regardless of where it came from, that feeling is yours now, and needs to be processed.

Step Two: Welcome the emotion in.

I know this sounds counter-intuitive. But any kind of resistance or fight energy you give to an emotion will only make it stronger and create new negative emotions to boot.

Besides, every emotion has a gift for you. Every emotion has a purpose: it is there to protect you from danger. Now, that danger may well be imagined, but the emotion doesn't know that. It's just doing it's job.

So, embrace the emotion, just as you would do with a child who's trying to protect you from the monster under their bed. Thank it for coming. Thank it for caring. Let it know it's safe with you.

Step Three: Ask the feeling why it's there. What danger is it trying to protect you from?

If no answer comes, simply sit with the feeling until it dissipates, or an answer arrives.

Once you have an answer, ask yourself if the danger poses a genuine threat to anything or anyone you care about. If it does, ask yourself if there is any helpful action you could take.

If there is, take it. Even if that action is simply adding an action item to your calendar or to-do list for later.

If there is no action to be taken, or the danger does not pose a true threat, let the emotion know that you're good, you've got this, and it can go now.

Step Four: Replace it with a core desired feeling

Once you've let go of the uninvited emotion, deliberately choose an emotion from your list of core desired feelings (don't have one yet? No problem, we'll cover that on January 21st!) to replace it.

You are a powerful creator. You can feel exactly what you want to feel. All it takes is knowledge and practice.

Register now to join me for the full talk on Emotional Hygiene!

Meanwhile, please share in the comments (below the "recent episodes" section, below) what came up for you while processing!

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