Updated: Jan 12
"Tell the truth first, before it gets worse." This is one of the many remarkable insights my wise-beyond-her-years 8-year-old daughter Aria comes up with in the course of this fun, kid-friendly episode of That's Aloud. Aria's adventures in make-believe and her sincere efforts to come clean to her friends are as relatable as they are touching. Listen to this one with your whole family! Highlight Reel:
2:39 - Aria's confession
3:17 - Things get out of hand
7:10 - Aria comes clean
8:11 - Aria's epiphany: tell them first, before it gets worse
10:17 - The difference between objective truth and emotional truth
11:59 - Taking your own advice is hard
13:52 - How to come clean to someone you care about
16:52 - Intimacy, vulnerability, courage, bravery, and how to find a true friend
Adrienne MacIain 0:24
Hi, everyone. This is Adrienne and I have an extremely special guest here today. This is Aria Vita MacIain, my eight year old daughter. [kiss] You want to say hi to everybody?
Aria MacIain 1:13
Adrienne MacIain 1:14
Okay. So Aria has a story that she would like to tell, and I'm going to help her tell it today.
Aria MacIain 1:21
I used to have two friends and their name is Inez and Vivian.
Adrienne MacIain 1:27
Do you want to tell us how you met Vivian?
Aria MacIain 1:29
Yeah. So, before I was in kindergarten, I was studying very well. I knew the vowels. I was like, readering, and most people didn't at my age. So when Vivian was there looking for her cubby, I helped her find it, because she did not really know how to read.
Unknown Speaker 1:50
Right, but you did.
Aria MacIain 1:51
Adrienne MacIain 1:52
Yeah. So you and Vivian you were best friends.
Aria MacIain 1:55
Adrienne MacIain 1:56
Yeah. You guys were inseparable for a while there. And then when Inez came along, what happened?
Aria MacIain 2:01
Vivian started playing a little bit more with Inez. Sometimes they said that they needed alone time. And when I gave them it, I saw those two playing together, which was NOT alone time. That was friend time.
Adrienne MacIain 2:17
And that was excluding you time, right?
Aria MacIain 2:20
Adrienne MacIain 2:21
And how did that make you feel?
Aria MacIain 2:23
I got pretty upset because Vivian was my best friend until now.
Adrienne MacIain 2:29
Yeah. So there's a specific story...
Aria MacIain 2:32
Adrienne MacIain 2:33
...that you wanted to tell today. Now, what has blocked you from telling this particular story, until now?
Aria MacIain 2:39
Well, in this story, if I feel like I'm the one who lied and I feel ashamed, because I'm the one who started this entire lie.
Adrienne MacIain 2:49
Yeah. Okay, so... you want to tell the story?
Aria MacIain 2:53
Adrienne MacIain 2:54
Aria MacIain 2:56
The day after the day we met Inez, I remember that clearly day, it was foggy. And I said, this fog was a dream. It was a storm. Things were happening. There was a problem.
Adrienne MacIain 3:12
Okay, so you made the fog into a kind of magical, mystical symbol.
Aria MacIain 3:17
Yes, which didn't seem that bad at the time until we got straight into it. Like, well, this is something true that I'm... I felt magical at that time. And so when I tell my friends they of course tell me things, and we all make things up, which still seemed fun. Until it was like we were running around in the park. And we were standing here and it's like, "This is somebody's dream who's dreaming of us! We're trapped in somebody's dream, how do we get out??"
Adrienne MacIain 3:54
Yeah, so you made it kind of dangerous and scary a little bit.
Aria MacIain 3:58
Yeah, but now we started picking up seedlets and it was like,
Adrienne MacIain 4:03
You started picking up what?
Aria MacIain 4:05
There were the seed packets on the ground everywhere, we started picking them up and pretending things and stuff. And now it changed to get a little worse because me and my friends right now are, we're like, moving around things, trying to get through things. And sometimes we were even kind of breaking rules trying to have the teachers not see us.
Adrienne MacIain 4:30
Gotcha. So it kind of got out of hand and got away from you.
Aria MacIain 4:35
Yeah. Now suddenly, we're in this big thing. And I think the friends know there are lies too. But it's like, it's kind of my fault.
Adrienne MacIain 4:47
Yeah, I hear ya. And so how did you feel about that at the time?
Aria MacIain 4:53
Um, at the time, I felt okay. I felt like "Oh, this is fun. We're playing our-- I'm playing with my friends. And, like, finally I've started something. And finally we can all play together."
That's really the main thing. Cuz after... when... cuz when me and Vivian, I... let me tell you what I would do before I met Vivian, or Inez.
Adrienne MacIain 5:09
Aria MacIain 5:15
I would swing on rings. I would just swing on rings. Rings are like monkey bars only they're not still. And they swing. And when I met Vivian, and Inez came, she kind of sucked up all my time with Vivian. And so what was I to do? Play on the rings. So I got really good at those rings. And now that we could all play together, I felt like "Yay, we can all play!" Maybe I can't get just Vivian back to myself, no. But we can all play together.
Adrienne MacIain 5:59
Aria MacIain 5:59
So at that time, I was not that much ashamed of...
Adrienne MacIain 6:03
No, you were kind of proud of yourself for coming up with that idea, right? Because it worked.
Aria MacIain 6:07
Adrienne MacIain 6:08
Yeah, that makes sense.
Aria MacIain 6:09
But I think that was with my subconscious mind at the time when I made that up. Because at that time, I just wanted to make some problem up. Cuz it seemed fun.
Adrienne MacIain 6:23
Sure. It's drama, right?
Aria MacIain 6:25
But I think in my subconscious mind, I knew there was more to that story.
Adrienne MacIain 6:31
Yeah. And when did that change for you? When did you start to realize, "Uh-oh, I've made a mistake"?
Aria MacIain 6:37
It's eventually like: Sacrifices! And oh, Aria, there's gonna be a problem with you! And Inez, things are gonna have to happen!
Right. Drama drama drama.
And it was just like, I can't let this happen! It was just way too much. As much as I wanted to keep it in, as much as I was scared... As much as that feeling, I knew I couldn't let this go on.
Adrienne MacIain 7:08
And so what did you do?
Aria MacIain 7:10
Basically, after recess? I went out to them. And I was like, Hey, guys, I gotta tell you something. And they were like, "What is it, Aria? What is it?? We need to know!" And I'm like, "Okay, guys, I've been lying about this, there's this thing, and this thing, and I didn't want to say... and it's like, I've been lying about the fog for the whole time, which right now I'm even embarrassed to say.
Adrienne MacIain 7:35
Yeah. yeah, it's hard to admit that you lied, right?
Aria MacIain 7:39
Adrienne MacIain 7:39
Yeah. It's a big thing. Well, can I give you a hug for being really brave and admitting that, on a recording?
Aria MacIain 7:46
Um, there's more to the story, though.
Adrienne MacIain 7:48