Still Life With No Apologies w/ Simply Speaks

Updated: May 23

We’re all so busy. We fill up our days, almost as if we’re afraid of what might happen if we dare to stop for a minute. But if you set aside the busy-busy and allow yourself to be truly still, you may find an authentic self that’s been there all along, waiting for you to be still and stop apologizing for simply being you. Join us as today’s guest, Simply Speaks, introduces us to the idea that stillness and resilience can give you things you never imagined could be yours.

Highlight Reel 0:30 The idea of resilience 3:00 Growing out of your lane 6:00 Tapping into the spirit 8:50 What am I supposed to be? 10:50 Where you came from 15:30 Allow your authentic self to evolve 20:00 Being of service

Adrienne MacIain 0:01

Hi, everyone, welcome to the That's Aloud podcast. I'm your hostess, Adrienne MacIain, and today we have Simply Speaks. Please, introduce yourself.

Simply Speaks 0:11

Good day, good day everyone. I am Simply Speaks with Simply Speaks LLC. I'm excited to be here. I am a, I call myself the everything person. I'm a business woman, speaker, and just a resilient force of energy.

Adrienne MacIain 0:26

Fabulous. So let's just dive into the first question here. The question I usually ask is, what story is the world not getting?

Simply Speaks 0:36

What story is the world not getting? You know, in the midst of everything going on today, I was traveling back to the office about an hour ago, I realized that you know, a lot is happening today in the world, and a lot of people are not given the idea of resilience. I think that's something that we have to really key in on. And my story is one of resilience. And a lot of people, you know, they see me as I am now, but they have no idea how I've been able to pull myself up from the bootstraps, and just be resilient, and just show up and show out regardless of what others may think.

Adrienne MacIain 1:13

Absolutely. So just to contextualize for people, because this is not going to air today, obviously, we are recording on election day. So obviously there's a lot of tension. It's a very exciting, but also anxiety-producing day for a lot of people. So yeah, I've been doing a lot of breathing exercises today.

Simply Speaks 1:36

We must.

Adrienne MacIain 1:37

Yes, we must. And so I love that topic of resilience. Let's dive a little bit deeper into that. What does resilience mean to you?

Simply Speaks 1:48

To me resilience, it means to pull oneself up by the bootstraps, to bounce back regardless of what's going on. And hey, today we having this wonderful dialogue on election day. And at the end of the day, someone is going to lose, someone is going to win. In the midst of it all, we as, you know, energy of the world have to be willing to be resilient no matter what comes. Being able to bounce back.

Adrienne MacIain 2:14

Absolutely. So how has that played out in your life and in your story?

Simply Speaks 2:19

Wow, it's played out. It's a part of my everyday life, being resilient. But going from home to being homeless, not once, not twice, but three times. And starting at a very young age, you know, as a teenager. And recognizing at 16-17 years old that I'm my own rescue. I am my own rescue. And so it's been so important for me in my journey, just to recognize that each day that I am breathing life is an opportunity to pull myself up and do the opposite of what I've been taught.

Adrienne MacIain 2:55

So when did this, when did the tide turn for you? When were you able to kind of own your resilience and, and start to really bounce back?

Simply Speaks 3:04

Yeah, you know, and that's such a great question. It's always been there. I think that we are, we are equipped with the ability to thrive. But it didn't kick in for me until in my late 20s, 28 years old, trying to figure out, Wait a minute, I'm living my life according to everyone else's norms, being comfortable for everyone else. And I had to make a decision, you know, either I'm going to stay in the community that doesn't suit my higher calling, or I'm going to branch out. And at 28, I decided to do that after, you know, getting out of a toxic relationship, letting go of drugs, recognizing the traumas of childhood. And so that's been the journey, being able to say, You know what, enough is enough. Here I am, and I'm going to show up, you know, loving myself more. And that takes, it's a process.

Adrienne MacIain 3:59

It is so hard. I mean, just the bravery that it takes to be able to say, I'm going to separate myself from everything I've ever known, all the people who ostensibly care about me, and find something better. That is so hard to do.

Simply Speaks 4:20

Absolutely, absolutely. And especially when you've been conditioned to believe that you need to stay in one lane. I've been talking about this as well, recognizing that it is okay to grow out of your lane. You know, we've been in, when I say 'we,' you know, being a minority growing up in the inner city of the Bronx, you know, South Bronx, a lot of poverty and drugs and other things happening. We were taught that this is your lane. And I've always been one to question, like, what else is out there? There has to be something else out there besides this. And once you can recognize that and be comfortable enough to go against the grain, you're okay. But again, it's very hard. And there's a lot of fear of, If I leave that, then what? And I think to everyone, you know, if you leave that, there's something better.

Adrienne MacIain 5:13

So besides that fear, what else held you back?

Simply Speaks 5:18

What else held me back? Self-sabotage. I'm not supposed to be successful. I'm not supposed to have a business. I'm not supposed to be loved. So the self-sabotage bit, again, based on the conditioned behaviors and thought processes that were handed down. Being able to let that stuff go. And even today, it's been many years since I've started my self-healing journey, I still have to remind myself, it's okay to be professional, it's okay to speak well. It's okay. So, again, resilience is an everyday process.

Adrienne MacIain 5:56

Absolutely. So how would you advise people listening to this to get more in touch with their own supply of resilience? Because like you said, we all have that within us. How do you tap into that?

Simply Speaks 6:11

Wow, wait one, I think that, you know, with recognizing that we have intuition and instincts, and that's, my book is 'Instinct and Intuition: The Uprise of the Resilient Woman,' recognizing that we have to go within. There's so many labels in the world, they're not going to go anywhere. Labels are going to be around forever and a day, whether we want them to or not, but recognizing outside of the labels, outside the labels - man, woman, black, white, Republican, Democrat, we can go there, right? There's the spirit, there's the inside, and if we learn to tap into that, then the answer is right there on what needs to be done. You know, we are, you know, this is a body, it's a battery, and it's constantly being recharged. But if you have a lot of background noise, you can't hear what you're supposed to do.

Adrienne MacIain 7:01

Yeah, so tune out that outside noise to the voice within.

Simply Speaks 7:08

go within? Absolutely.

Adrienne MacIain 7:09

Yeah. Do you have some tools that work really well for you to help tune out that noise and go within?

Simply Speaks 7:18

I've learned to, you know, I am big on mirror work and affirmations. Big on affirmations, I love Abraham-Hicks, and, you know, so many other greats. But just recognizing, you know, to get still, in stillness, and then clarity. I'm big on clarity and, you know, having things clear so those messages can come in. Oftentimes, we're on autopilot. We're just going, going going, and I like the pause. You have to be able to pause in between each project. We're constantly like this... So everything goes haywire. So, my thing is, what I encourage people to do is just to be still. Be still, and everything will come to you. And sometimes we don't understand that. And some people are afraid to tap into the true self.

Adrienne MacIain 8:13

Yeah. Well, it can be very scary to let go of that, what we've known as our security blanket of doing-doing-doing, that we always have to be producing something, we always have to be working on something, or doing something. And if we're not, then we're useless and unproductive. And so it takes a lot of bravery, honestly, to challenge that and say, I can just be, and that actually is more healing and more productive.

Simply Speaks 8:43


Adrienne MacIain 8:44

In the long term.

Simply Speaks 8:45

Right. Absolutely. And then going back to the idea of titles and labels, you know, what am I supposed to be? And oftentimes I ask people, What do you do? Who are you? And they go, Oh, I am this, and I'm that. And I go, No, who are YOU? And we've been taught that we shouldn't be. It's like, Who are you? You know, I've come to a space in my journey where I'm just, not recognizing it, but putting a name to it, putting a name to who I actually am in life, not just as a woman or male, but this non-binary specimen of energy. And it's like, Wait, what is that? And recognizing it was always there, but I didn't know how to say, Wait a minute, I feel a little bit different. This is what's going on with me. And it's just about being comfortable with who you are. You know? It's a process.

Adrienne MacIain 9:42

It is a process.

Simply Speaks 9:43

Look, look, I said it out loud! Non-binary, right. It's a process.

Adrienne MacIain 9:48

It's a process. And we're all works in process. I've never met anyone who was complete.

Simply Speaks 9:56


Adrienne MacIain 9:57

Maybe Buddha was? I don't know, I didn't meet him, but I've heard good things. So how did this journey change you?

Simply Speaks 10:06

The journey has changed me so much for the better. For most part of my life, I followed people. People call you a great leader, but before I was a leader I was a follower. And I followed a lot of the wrong people trying to, number one, get validation, to be a part of something, to be a part of a group of people, whether, you know, friends or family. Looking for that connection, and then recognizing, Wait a minute, I am the connection. I am the prototype. And we are all prototypes, and we can just come together and connect, we can do so many powerful things.

Adrienne MacIain 10:46

Absolutely. That's beautiful. So who do you think needs to hear this?

Simply Speaks 10:51

I think my message is for, of course, my target audiences is women, you know, the resilient women. I do a lot of behavior modification studies on women's development and think mental health, things like that. But I think that anyone that is looking for something more anyone does, I like that one is Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning. Anyone that's searching for meaning can get this message on resilience, the idea of that everything that you're looking for is already right there just to get still and recognize that you are okay. We live in a world right now where so many people are finger pointing of who's right and what's right and what's wrong, and what can't happen. And you need to stay over here and 'You forgot where you came from.' I've heard that so much. You forgot! You understand? I cannot forget, like, you know, I say to people, Adrienne, do you see my skin? I cannot forget! You know? I cannot forget where I came from, and in the midst of it, I am allowed to love and connect with other diverse groups of people who are spirits just like me. So anyone can get the message of resilience and just pushing through and being open to other connections.

Adrienne MacIain 11:24

You know, that that phrase is always sort of bothered me, you know, "don't forget where you came from," as if you could.

Simply Speaks 12:14

Yeah, it's like, it's the reason why I do everything that I do.

Adrienne MacIain 12:17

Exactly. Like, I would not be here, if I hadn't been there.

Simply Speaks 12:22