Still Life With No Apologies w/ Simply Speaks

Updated: May 23, 2021

We’re all so busy. We fill up our days, almost as if we’re afraid of what might happen if we dare to stop for a minute. But if you set aside the busy-busy and allow yourself to be truly still, you may find an authentic self that’s been there all along, waiting for you to be still and stop apologizing for simply being you. Join us as today’s guest, Simply Speaks, introduces us to the idea that stillness and resilience can give you things you never imagined could be yours.

Highlight Reel 0:30 The idea of resilience 3:00 Growing out of your lane 6:00 Tapping into the spirit 8:50 What am I supposed to be? 10:50 Where you came from 15:30 Allow your authentic self to evolve 20:00 Being of service

Adrienne MacIain 0:01

Hi, everyone, welcome to the That's Aloud podcast. I'm your hostess, Adrienne MacIain, and today we have Simply Speaks. Please, introduce yourself.

Simply Speaks 0:11

Good day, good day everyone. I am Simply Speaks with Simply Speaks LLC. I'm excited to be here. I am a, I call myself the everything person. I'm a business woman, speaker, and just a resilient force of energy.

Adrienne MacIain 0:26

Fabulous. So let's just dive into the first question here. The question I usually ask is, what story is the world not getting?

Simply Speaks 0:36

What story is the world not getting? You know, in the midst of everything going on today, I was traveling back to the office about an hour ago, I realized that you know, a lot is happening today in the world, and a lot of people are not given the idea of resilience. I think that's something that we have to really key in on. And my story is one of resilience. And a lot of people, you know, they see me as I am now, but they have no idea how I've been able to pull myself up from the bootstraps, and just be resilient, and just show up and show out regardless of what others may think.

Adrienne MacIain 1:13

Absolutely. So just to contextualize for people, because this is not going to air today, obviously, we are recording on election day. So obviously there's a lot of tension. It's a very exciting, but also anxiety-producing day for a lot of people. So yeah, I've been doing a lot of breathing exercises today.

Simply Speaks 1:36

We must.

Adrienne MacIain 1:37

Yes, we must. And so I love that topic of resilience. Let's dive a little bit deeper into that. What does resilience mean to you?

Simply Speaks 1:48

To me resilience, it means to pull oneself up by the bootstraps, to bounce back regardless of what's going on. And hey, today we having this wonderful dialogue on election day. And at the end of the day, someone is going to lose, someone is going to win. In the midst of it all, we as, you know, energy of the world have to be willing to be resilient no matter what comes. Being able to bounce back.

Adrienne MacIain 2:14

Absolutely. So how has that played out in your life and in your story?

Simply Speaks 2:19

Wow, it's played out. It's a part of my everyday life, being resilient. But going from home to being homeless, not once, not twice, but three times. And starting at a very young age, you know, as a teenager. And recognizing at 16-17 years old that I'm my own rescue. I am my own rescue. And so it's been so important for me in my journey, just to recognize that each day that I am breathing life is an opportunity to pull myself up and do the opposite of what I've been taught.

Adrienne MacIain 2:55

So when did this, when did the tide turn for you? When were you able to kind of own your resilience and, and start to really bounce back?

Simply Speaks 3:04

Yeah, you know, and that's such a great question. It's always been there. I think that we are, we are equipped with the ability to thrive. But it didn't kick in for me until in my late 20s, 28 years old, trying to figure out, Wait a minute, I'm living my life according to everyone else's norms, being comfortable for everyone else. And I had to make a decision, you know, either I'm going to stay in the community that doesn't suit my higher calling, or I'm going to branch out. And at 28, I decided to do that after, you know, getting out of a toxic relationship, letting go of drugs, recognizing the traumas of childhood. And so that's been the journey, being able to say, You know what, enough is enough. Here I am, and I'm going to show up, you know, loving myself more. And that takes, it's a process.

Adrienne MacIain 3:59

It is so hard. I mean, just the bravery that it takes to be able to say, I'm going to separate myself from everything I've ever known, all the people who ostensibly care about me, and find something better. That is so hard to do.

Simply Speaks 4:20

Absolutely, absolutely. And especially when you've been conditioned to believe that you need to stay in one lane. I've been talking about this as well, recognizing that it is okay to grow out of your lane. You know, we've been in, when I say 'we,' you know, being a minority growing up in the inner city of the Bronx, you know, South Bronx, a lot of poverty and drugs and other things happening. We were taught that this is your lane. And I've always been one to question, like, what else is out there? There has to be something else out there besides this. And once you can recognize that and be comfortable enough to go against the grain, you're okay. But again, it's very hard. And there's a lot of fear of, If I leave that, then what? And I think to everyone, you know, if you leave that, there's something better.

Adrienne MacIain 5:13

So besides that fear, what else held you back?

Simply Speaks 5:18

What else held me back? Self-sabotage. I'm not supposed to be successful. I'm not supposed to have a business. I'm not supposed to be loved. So the self-sabotage bit, again, based on the conditioned behaviors and thought processes that were handed down. Being able to let that stuff go. And even today, it's been many years since I've started my self-healing journey, I still have to remind myself, it's okay to be professional, it's okay to speak well. It's okay. So, again, resilience is an everyday process.

Adrienne MacIain 5:56

Absolutely. So how would you advise people listening to this to get more in touch with their own supply of resilience? Because like you said, we all have that within us. How do you tap into that?

Simply Speaks 6:11

Wow, wait one, I think that, you know, with recognizing that we have intuition and instincts, and that's, my book is 'Instinct and Intuition: The Uprise of the Resilient Woman,' recognizing that we have to go within. There's so many labels in the world, they're not going to go anywhere. Labels are going to be around forever and a day, whether we want them to or not, but recognizing outside of the labels, outside the labels - man, woman, black, white, Republican, Democrat, we can go there, right? There's the spirit, there's the inside, and if we learn to tap into that, then the answer is right there on what needs to be done. You know, we are, you know, this is a body, it's a battery, and it's constantly being recharged. But if you have a lot of background noise, you can't hear what you're supposed to do.

Adrienne MacIain 7:01

Yeah, so tune out that outside noise to the voice within.

Simply Speaks 7:08

go within? Absolutely.

Adrienne MacIain 7:09

Yeah. Do you have some tools that work really well for you to help tune out that noise and go within?

Simply Speaks 7:18

I've learned to, you know, I am big on mirror work and affirmations. Big on affirmations, I love Abraham-Hicks, and, you know, so many other greats. But just recognizing, you know, to get still, in stillness, and then clarity. I'm big on clarity and, you know, having things clear so those messages can come in. Oftentimes, we're on autopilot. We're just going, going going, and I like the pause. You have to be able to pause in between each project. We're constantly like this... So everything goes haywire. So, my thing is, what I encourage people to do is just to be still. Be still, and everything will come to you. And sometimes we don't understand that. And some people are afraid to tap into the true self.

Adrienne MacIain 8:13

Yeah. Well, it can be very scary to let go of that, what we've known as our security blanket of doing-doing-doing, that we always have to be producing something, we always have to be working on something, or doing something. And if we're not, then we're useless and unproductive. And so it takes a lot of bravery, honestly, to challenge that and say, I can just be, and that actually is more healing and more productive.

Simply Speaks 8:43


Adrienne MacIain 8:44

In the long term.

Simply Speaks 8:45

Right. Absolutely. And then going back to the idea of titles and labels, you know, what am I supposed to be? And oftentimes I ask people, What do you do? Who are you? And they go, Oh, I am this, and I'm that. And I go, No, who are YOU? And we've been taught that we shouldn't be. It's like, Who are you? You know, I've come to a space in my journey where I'm just, not recognizing it, but putting a name to it, putting a name to who I actually am in life, not just as a woman or male, but this non-binary specimen of energy. And it's like, Wait, what is that? And recognizing it was always there, but I didn't know how to say, Wait a minute, I feel a little bit different. This is what's going on with me. And it's just about being comfortable with who you are. You know? It's a process.

Adrienne MacIain 9:42

It is a process.

Simply Speaks 9:43

Look, look, I said it out loud! Non-binary, right. It's a process.

Adrienne MacIain 9:48

It's a process. And we're all works in process. I've never met anyone who was complete.

Simply Speaks 9:56


Adrienne MacIain 9:57

Maybe Buddha was? I don't know, I didn't meet him, but I've heard good things. So how did this journey change you?

Simply Speaks 10:06

The journey has changed me so much for the better. For most part of my life, I followed people. People call you a great leader, but before I was a leader I was a follower. And I followed a lot of the wrong people trying to, number one, get validation, to be a part of something, to be a part of a group of people, whether, you know, friends or family. Looking for that connection, and then recognizing, Wait a minute, I am the connection. I am the prototype. And we are all prototypes, and we can just come together and connect, we can do so many powerful things.

Adrienne MacIain 10:46

Absolutely. That's beautiful. So who do you think needs to hear this?

Simply Speaks 10:51

I think my message is for, of course, my target audiences is women, you know, the resilient women. I do a lot of behavior modification studies on women's development and think mental health, things like that. But I think that anyone that is looking for something more anyone does, I like that one is Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning. Anyone that's searching for meaning can get this message on resilience, the idea of that everything that you're looking for is already right there just to get still and recognize that you are okay. We live in a world right now where so many people are finger pointing of who's right and what's right and what's wrong, and what can't happen. And you need to stay over here and 'You forgot where you came from.' I've heard that so much. You forgot! You understand? I cannot forget, like, you know, I say to people, Adrienne, do you see my skin? I cannot forget! You know? I cannot forget where I came from, and in the midst of it, I am allowed to love and connect with other diverse groups of people who are spirits just like me. So anyone can get the message of resilience and just pushing through and being open to other connections.

Adrienne MacIain 11:24

You know, that that phrase is always sort of bothered me, you know, "don't forget where you came from," as if you could.

Simply Speaks 12:14

Yeah, it's like, it's the reason why I do everything that I do.

Adrienne MacIain 12:17

Exactly. Like, I would not be here, if I hadn't been there.

Simply Speaks 12:22


Adrienne MacIain 12:22

So even if you literally forgot, you know, where you came from, it's still part of who you are. And always will be. Yeah. I think part of the power of storytelling is to be able to look at it as a story. That, that that where I've been, and see it as this kind of thing outside of myself. Right? Because otherwise it just it colors, everything you do. It's like this pair of glasses that you can't take off. And everything you see you see through this haze of where you've been?

Simply Speaks 12:59

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And you know, it's the pieces of the puzzle, it's moving parts of the puzzle. So if I stay in this one corner of the puzzle, I'm not going to see the beauty that's over there. And we have to always say, I've been focused on undoing the norms, ongoing, I do everything opposite of what I've been taught. That's just me, they go, She's just out there. And it's, you know, but to do undo the norm so that you can see that there are other moving parts of the puzzle that are just as beautiful. And right now we live in a space where the media and it has created so much separation amongst the people. And is this way, you have to turn things off and pause and say, wait a minute, let me connect with this loving energy. That on the outside is called Adrienne, let me connect with this loving energy that is on the outside that is quite simply because there's so much more to just that physical. And I hope I'm making sense. I always say to people don't make sense. And what I'm sharing here on the spiritual level, there's so much more to the human energy that we are missing.

Adrienne MacIain 14:09

Yeah, and I think you have to, you know, to embrace that love energy, like you said, I think you have to embrace the fear energy to I think you have to see it there. And stop fighting it and stop resisting it, and just say, oh, fear, you know, it's like, I think of all my emotions as my little kids, you know, and I see fear and all fear, come here, come here, and I just give it a big hug. And I go, I know, I know. You're so scared and you're trying so hard to protect me. And I appreciate that so deeply. Thank you. Thank you for being here. And then it just disappears because it's been acknowledged.

Simply Speaks 14:50

Absolutely. Well, you you say it a little kinder and nicer. With me, with fear, it's like, no, you're gonna sit down and this is what's going to happen.

Adrienne MacIain 14:58

Set boundaries. That's important too. That's important too. But you have to acknowledge it. You can't just ignore it or it just gets louder and louder because it goes, Hey, I'm here. I'm here. Like, Mom. Mom. Mom! MOM!

Simply Speaks 15:13

Right, which we know is false evidence appearing real. That's what, you know, fear. Is that false evidence appearing real? Yeah, you know, acknowledge it, and you keep on going. Yeah.

Adrienne MacIain 15:24

So what would you say is the main message or takeaway for people listening to this today?

Simply Speaks 15:30

The main takeaway for for people listening today is just to be to allow your authentic self to evolve. And this has been the biggest part of my journey. When I look at myself, and I go within, I look at the spirit, I go, Oh, my God, had I known way back then. But everything happens for a reason. It's the story, right? You know, but you know, to be authentic, to be yourself, without apology, to be yourself, and people are not going to understand who you are, and what you are, and why you do what you do. You just have to do it without explanation. And so I've learned to accept all of me, all of the parts that are still growing, the parts that I didn't understand, you know, again, coming into, I'll be 48 next month telling my age, I like color, my age, I'm going to be 48 years old next month, and I realized, like, Whoa, this has been, 2020 has been a year for everyone, you know, the good, the bad, the not so good. But it's been a growing year of really saying, Whoa, all of this time, I had no idea of what was going on within and now I can put a name on it. And I'm not ashamed to say. People go, What does that mean? Do you want to be a man? Or do you want to be a woman? What is this non, non-binary type of thing? What are you talking about? And I go, No, I realized that I was born this way. Being here, this is what I'm seeing this masculine side of me that I've been hiding from the world, possibly. And it's like, no, this is the energy that I was assigned to. And so I have to be very gracious, and comfortable enough to saying, This is my assignment. And someone out there is listening to it and going, Oh, my God, that is me. So the message that I want to leave with people is to be authentic, allow your true self to evolve.

Adrienne MacIain 17:36

I feel like this podcast, you know, it's just that like, that is the message but it's like, everyone comes with a different version of the same message just you do you Be yourself be authentic, you know, just be like, Listen to your intuition, all of that stuff. But, you know, I think we have to hear it all those different ways to really absorb it, because it's the answer, but it is. So it is buried under all these layers. And it's like, every time you take a mask off, there's like 10 underneath. You know, it's like you said it's this this process of constant stripping away and stripping away and stripping away everything that is not you. I always, you know, use the the analogy of the David right. It's like, he didn't he didn't, you know, carve the David, he just took away all the rock that wasn't the David. Right. And that's what we're doing. We are these beautiful works of art, where what we're doing is just getting rid of all this stuff that isn't us. Right? Yes. And it's a never ending process. And it's a beautiful journey. It's a beautiful journey.

Simply Speaks 18:47

And it's a forever journey. As long as we were, you know, we're breathing, we're gonna be on this journey of evolving. I talk a lot about life assignments and purpose. And sometimes when I'm speaking, people become very afraid, like, What is she talking about? What is this person talking about on this spiritual level? You're going too deep, Simply! But I realized that, you know, there's an assignment, there's a calling on everybody's life, and you have to figure out what that is. In order to do that, you have to be willing to let go of the fear, number one, to peel back those layers, number two, and number three, to be so comfortable walking in your rawness, cuz that's what it is. Once you peel back the layer, that's that raw energy. And the idea of it shining, and people looking at it, and pointing is what makes a lot of people go back in, they go back in, they close back off. But I champion you all to just open up and allow your raw energy to emerge, because we're all here, not even for ourselves, we're here to be of service to others.

Adrienne MacIain 19:58

Yeah. That rawness, that vulnerability, that nakedness of just, This is who I am, warts and all. And that's what I do too is I help people just find their gifts and give their gifts and create, you know, because we're all creators. So what I'd love to do with you is a little exercise. So if I could have you just take a deep breath. Yeah, and just keep your eyes closed, that's good. I'm gonna wave my magic wand. I have now waved it. And everything that you desire has just come true. Everything that you want, so deeply that it goes all the way to your soul, to what you had with you when you were born into this body, that has just come to pass. It's all true. It's all real. And it's all happening right now. And so I want you to just wake up in this new reality, look around, and tell me exactly what you see, what you can hear, taste, touch, and smell.

Simply Speaks 21:20

I am a child of the Most High God. My walk in life is to inspire others to go beyond their comfort zones, and to pull out that part of themselves that they've been hiding for so long. That's why I'm here. I walk and talk in light, in an energy of love. And we may not understand, you know, the assignment that we've been given. But in this newness, in this now, I see that I have the ability to create from nothing, from the bottom.

Adrienne MacIain 21:58

I want you to see someone in front of you that you have just helped to discover their own purpose. And see on their face that gratitude, that relief, just that outpouring of happiness that you've just given to this person. I want you to see that for a moment. Hear them saying to you, Thank you, thank you so much. How does that feel?

Simply Speaks 22:32

It feels great. It feels great knowing that I'm being of service.

Adrienne MacIain 22:41

What else? What else do you see in this space?

Simply Speaks 22:45

I see, you know, people recognizing that it's okay just to be. I see, you know, people recognizing that it's okay to be vulnerable, to let go. To let go.

Adrienne MacIain 22:58

I want you to see that. Say you're you're walking down a street, okay. And just see all these people. It's like this light is going off within them. You're just seeing them waking up, one after the other. To see that and hear them going, Oh! Having those little moments of epiphany. And I want you to smell... in fact, what do you smell? Just tell me? What do you smell in this space?

Simply Speaks 23:36

As always, lavender. Lavender, calmness, peace.

Adrienne MacIain 23:43

Yeah. Beautiful. Is there any music that comes to mind? as you're watching these people wake up, one after the other.

Simply Speaks 23:55

Jazz, slow jazz. Calmness. Soothing water sounds

Adrienne MacIain 24:02

Beautiful. So what I would recommend to you is just to make a little slideshow of those people waking up, just the faces of the people waking up, and put underneath of it that jazz, maybe some waves, whatever is really relaxing to you. You can even have some lavender essence if that helps to get you back into that space of just the joy of watching those people awaken and knowing that you were a part of that.

Simply Speaks 24:40

Awesome. Yeah, awesome idea. An awesome exercise, actually.

Adrienne MacIain 24:46

Yeah, so feel free to do that in the mornings. That's when I usually do it just really sets the tone.

Simply Speaks 24:51

Oh yeah. Absolutely. Very nice. Very nice.

Adrienne MacIain 24:55

All right. Where can the people find you?

Simply Speaks 24:58

The people can find me at I'm also on Facebook at Simply Speaks, Instagram at Resilient Speaker or Simply Speaks LLC. And also on the horizon, which is this month, my new book. I'm a new author, I have a lot of things going on in the resilience world, instinct and intuition, the uprise of the resilient woman, for all the women or people who identify as women, please, you know, get the book. There's great exercises on growth, and just being able to overcome, overcome all those obstacles and to let go of those fears.

Adrienne MacIain 25:38

That's wonderful. Thank you so much.

Simply Speaks 25:42

Thank you. Blessings.

Transcribed by Rebecca MacIain

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